A Leader can’t Lead without Respect

Respect is earned through integrity, humility, dependability and priority

Respect is earned through integrity, humility, dependability and priority

When people respect someone as a person they admire them.  When they respect them as a friend, they love them.  When they respect them as a leader, they follow them.  You cannot get people to follow you as a leader if they do not respect you.  People may want to “hang out” with you if they like you, but they won’t climb with you if they don’t respect you.

We all know that the success or failure of any organization falls on the shoulders of its leader.  But the success or failure of the leader falls on the shoulders of the respect the leader has earned.  How is respect earned, how do we obtain it from those around us?  It isn’t easy and it doesn’t come with titles or positions!  Respect is something you work at and is found in the daily practices of a leader.  It takes years to earn and seconds to lose, but without it, you cannot lead.

Here are few ways to earn respect from those around you:

1)  Respect is earned through integrity
The founder of Forbes magazine once said “Integrity is the basis for all success.”  Without integrity you cannot have Respect.  Integrity is found in your lifestyle, your values and your mission and motive in life.  It’s your ethics, your morals and your boundaries for your personal and public life.  Integrity is not a 90% thing or even a 95% thing…either you have it or you don’t.

2)  Respect is earned through humility
Humility says “I’m sorry, it was my fault.”  It approaches a person to resolve conflict.  It gives away the credit and seeks to put others above oneself.  Rarely will you respect someone whos ego is so big you can’t fit in the room with them.  If you want respect, break your pride and operate on the basis of humility.

3)  Respect is earned through dependability
People must be able to count on you!  If you are consistently late, don’t follow through, make commitments you don’t keep and continually break your promises, you cannot and will not have respect from those around you.  Dependability is absolutely necessary if you desire respect from your peers.

4)  Respect is earned through priority
To have Respect from those around you (family, friends, colleagues, superiors) they must see a life lived by priorities.  Remember the story of the Big Rocks?  The professor pulls out a jar in front of his class and puts three big rocks in the jar and asked the students “is the jar full?”  The class said “yes.”  He then put gravel in the jar and asked “is it full now?”  The class again said “yes.”  He then put sand in the jar and asked “is it full?”  By now the class was afraid to answer.  He finally put water in the jar and said “now the jar is full.”  He then said “you have to put the big rocks in first or nothing else will fit.”  Priorities are when you put the big rocks first in your life and let everything else fall around it.

These are four simple ways to earn respect from people!  Apply these to your life and share them with your staff and co-workers.  Remember that respect is something you earn…so earn it or you will never lead with success!

Until next time,

Chris Sonksen


“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”
Beverly Sills


About Chris Sonksen

Chris Sonksen is the founder and Lead Pastor of South Hills Church and has an exceptional ability to inspire both secular and non-secular audiences. Under his leadership, South Hills has experienced phenomenal growth and in just a few short years has grown from a handful of people to nearly 3000 in attendance today. Today South Hills has become a thriving, multi-service and multi-site church. Chris has a magnetic, captivating and humorous style for motivating and inspiring all audiences. As a motivational speaker, he has spoken both nationally and internationally in companies such as Verizon, Securitas and Home Depot, and there is no doubt that by applying his teachings, his audience will improve the quality of their lives! Chris is the author of two books In Search of Higher Ground and Handshake. Chris is the founder of Celera Church Strategy Group an organization with an unwavering commitment to excellence in all things, with the goal to “raise the national average of church attendance,” by equipping church leaders with resources and coaching. Chris brings high-energy focus and a passion for vision and leadership to encourage and equip the local Church. Chris is a native Californian, born in Long Beach and currently resides in Corona with his wife, Laura and their two children, Grace and Aidan.

Posted on July 6, 2009, in choices, Leadership, Personal Growth, Relationships and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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